 |
| This guy just can't do it like Pey Pey! |
If ESPN, NFL.com, Grantland.com, and the countless other sports websites on the net didn't already give you a heaping portion of jargon-filled NFL analysis this week, we're here to help. Here are our thoughts on who's been fantastic, mediocre, and downright pathetic over the past eight weeks.
MVP
Sam
Peyton Manning - Seriously, who has proven to be more valuable to their squad?
Peyton Manning - Seriously, who has proven to be more valuable to their squad?
Mike
Aaron Rodgers - Need I list his stats for the first half of the season? (alright, here they are: 171/239 CMP/ATT; 71.5 CMP%; 2,372 YDS; 9.93 AVG YDS Per Throw; 20/3 TD/INT; 125.7 Passer Rating).
Brian
Aaron Rodgers -- Nobody has led a team better. Leadership comes from the QB position in the NFL, and Rodgers and the undefeated Packers are looking to repeat their title this year.
Aaron Rodgers -- Nobody has led a team better. Leadership comes from the QB position in the NFL, and Rodgers and the undefeated Packers are looking to repeat their title this year.
Chris
As a Colts fan, it pains me to say this, but I have to let it out: Peyton Manning might not win another MVP award, much less touch a football field. If this award was called the "Most Valuable Player Who Is Out For the Season and Who Has Previously Led His Team To Ten Straight Ten-Plus-Win Seasons, and Had Prior Started in 208 Consecutive Games, and Who's Team Is Going 0-16 Without Him Award", then Peyton would win this one by a landslide [Editor's Note: In short, that's MVPWIOFTSAWHPLHTTTSTPWSAHPSI2CGAWTIG0-16WHA]. Unfortunately, there is no such award, and even worse, there is no way Peyton could win the MVP award this year. But, who else is deserving of this award as much as him? Who else has ever had this kind of impact on a football team? The answer is probably no one. Whether the Colts are terrible due to their lack of talent or because of the coaches, missing Manning is the primary reason for their putrid play so far. | |||||
|
Offensive Player of the Year
Sam
Aaron Rodgers: Mr. "Discount Double Check"
Aaron Rodgers: Mr. "Discount Double Check"
Mike
Aaron Rodgers - Have I mentioned that the Packers are undefeated?
Brian
Calvin Johnson -- The Lions go to Calvin Johnson game after game and he has yet to disappoint. 11 TDs in 8 games and it feels like nobody can cover this guy... because nobody can. The Lions should throw to him every play. Stafford truly owes all of his success to CJ. The Lions have no running game and their receiving core isn't that exceptional minus CJ, so in my opinion, no Calvin Johnson = no Lions.
Chris
This one's pretty obvious. Mike touched on it above. A-Rodge is a beast, and it's hard to imagine anyone challenging him for this award. Maybe Tarvaris Jackson?
This one's pretty obvious. Mike touched on it above. A-Rodge is a beast, and it's hard to imagine anyone challenging him for this award. Maybe Tarvaris Jackson?
Defensive Player of the Year
Sam
Jared Allen - On pace for 25 sacks this year.
Mike
Jared Allen-This really is a monster of a season for him, although it would help if the Vikings offense gave him a modicum of support.
Brian
Darrelle Revis -- I am confident that he single-handedly won two games for the Jets already this year, something Jared Allen has not done for the Vikings. Revis ruined Tony Romo's opening day when he picked him off, leading to a game-winning score by NYJ. He also squashed the Miami Dolphins all by himself, Michael Jordan style. The Dolphins were about to go up 10-0, and in fact, would have, had Marshall made the catch in the endzone, instead of Revis catching it and taking it to the house for 6 points. 10-0 is a much different ballgame than 3-7, and Miami played from behind the rest of the way. Revis made big plays later in that game as well to seal the deal for the Jets. This man is the only reason the Jets have the record they do. It sure isn't Rex...
Chris
Jared Allen - On pace for 25 sacks this year.
Mike
Jared Allen-This really is a monster of a season for him, although it would help if the Vikings offense gave him a modicum of support.
Brian
Darrelle Revis -- I am confident that he single-handedly won two games for the Jets already this year, something Jared Allen has not done for the Vikings. Revis ruined Tony Romo's opening day when he picked him off, leading to a game-winning score by NYJ. He also squashed the Miami Dolphins all by himself, Michael Jordan style. The Dolphins were about to go up 10-0, and in fact, would have, had Marshall made the catch in the endzone, instead of Revis catching it and taking it to the house for 6 points. 10-0 is a much different ballgame than 3-7, and Miami played from behind the rest of the way. Revis made big plays later in that game as well to seal the deal for the Jets. This man is the only reason the Jets have the record they do. It sure isn't Rex...
Chris
As the sole Minnesota Vikings hater on this blog, I have to go a different direction with this. Call me a homer, but Pat Angerer has been insane this year. He leads the league in tackles with 90, and the closest guy behind him is at 68. Can you attribute this to the fact that the Colts front four is terrible at run-stopping? Yes. Is he the only guy who can make a tackle? Yes. The Colts would've lost that Saints game by 80 points if he wasn't in there.
Offensive Rookie of the Year
Sam
Cam Newton, good thing I traded him for an injured little Cowboy named Felix.
Mike
Steve Smith - Who gets Newton all those passing yards? [Editor's Note: Steve Smith is 32 and is currently in his 11th NFL season. If you knew Mike, you would know that he was being completely serious when he wrote this.] [Writer's Note: I forgot that this was the Rookie of the Year Award, for some reason I thought it was Standout Player of the Season or something, but that doesn't mean my point isn't correct.]
Cam Newton, good thing I traded him for an injured little Cowboy named Felix.
Mike
Steve Smith - Who gets Newton all those passing yards? [Editor's Note: Steve Smith is 32 and is currently in his 11th NFL season. If you knew Mike, you would know that he was being completely serious when he wrote this.] [Writer's Note: I forgot that this was the Rookie of the Year Award, for some reason I thought it was Standout Player of the Season or something, but that doesn't mean my point isn't correct.]
Brian
Andy Dalton -- Come on guys. What's Cam doing besides putting up points for your fantasy team? He's LOSING! Dalton has taken the Bengals, who were predicted by many to be the worst team in the NFL going into this season, and has led them to a 5-2 start in a tough division. This kid is working hard.
Chris
My boy CAAAAAAAAAMMMM. Really no argument here, except maybe in favor of A.J. Green. I still love me some Cam, though.
Defensive Rookie of the Year
Sam
Patrick Peterson, except for getting owned by AP.
Mike
I don't follow football this closely. [Editor's Note: Really?]
Patrick Peterson, except for getting owned by AP.
Mike
I don't follow football this closely. [Editor's Note: Really?]
Brian
Patrick Peterson. He's really the only rookie who appears fairly consistently in highlights... he takes the hardware for this award. Paging Nick Fairley...
Chris
Sam hit the head on the nail. Patty Pete is showing why he got drafted 5th, and has been the anchor of the Cardinals defense. Yeah I guess that's not saying much...
Coach of the Year
Sam
Jim Harbaugh, Skol Cardinal.
Mike
Jim Schwartz - The fact that the Lions have a winning record says it all.
Brian
Bill Belichick -- I just realized how funny his name is considering Rex Ryan is his rival coach. He managed to take a Boston team and lead them to a 2-1 September record, showing up the baseball counterparts on their marvelous 6-20 September. Quite a difference in winning percentages!
Chris
Jim Harbaugh, Skol Cardinal.
Mike
Jim Schwartz - The fact that the Lions have a winning record says it all.
Brian
Bill Belichick -- I just realized how funny his name is considering Rex Ryan is his rival coach. He managed to take a Boston team and lead them to a 2-1 September record, showing up the baseball counterparts on their marvelous 6-20 September. Quite a difference in winning percentages!
Chris
Former Stanford Head Coach Jim Harbaugh took a team with Alex Smith at QB and that finished second-to-last in the NFC West last year, of all divisions. He's brought this team together, and his tough coaching style has earned his squad a 6-1 record, standing alone atop the putrid West Division. Did I mention the team leads the league in Defense and Special Teams?
Comeback Player of the Year
Sam
Wes Welker, following his torn ACL.
Mike
Sam said it all.
Brian
Scarlet Jamie for the Eagles. Wow, they really protect the info on NFL cheerleaders don't they? That took me way too long to find.
Wes Welker, following his torn ACL.
Mike
Sam said it all.
Brian
Carson Palmer -- A bold prediction rather than a real representation of performance thus far. I think Oakland is a great new home for the USC Heisman winner, and think Carson will finally be happy here. [Editor's Note: Did you watch that 3-pick game???]
Chris
Has anybody heard of Steve Smith? Jesus Christ, this guy put up like 23 catches last year! Give this guy a pat on the back. He's now once again the most famous Steve Smith in the NFL.
Worst Player of the Year
Sam
Philip Rivers - He's not a bad quarterback by any means, I just feel like he could lead his team to many more victories.
Sam
Philip Rivers - He's not a bad quarterback by any means, I just feel like he could lead his team to many more victories.
Mike
Tim Tebow - The win against Miami doesn't count, the Backwater Mudchuckers of the Mississippi Adult Flag Football League could beat them.
Brian
I'm sorry, but this has to be Donovan McNabb. The veteran was called in to save the day for the Vikings and he did nothing but choke on his own belly pads that make him look strangely fat in a football uniform. He couldn't do anything to save his life, or save his job. Now it's Ponder's team.
Chris
I would like to take a second and talk about how awful Jacob Lacey (CB for the Indianapolis Colts) has been this year. Play after the play, the 3rd-Year UFA has allowed cushions of 10+ yards on every single play. He is the face of this defense, not because he's good, but because he is symbolic of the utter crap that Indy puts out to play (they're allowing 400+ yards a game) every week. Yuck.
Most Mediocre Player of the Year
Sam
Matt Hasselbeck. I have no clue why, hence the mediocracy.
Mike
Why is this category here?
Brian
This has to be CJ2K. More like CJisn'tworth2K... what's his average? Like .41 yards per carry? I'd start anyone over this guy right now.
Chris
I give this one to Sam. He literally put like 4 minutes into this thing. Come on bro.
Hottest Cheerleader of the Year
Sam
Entire USC Cheer Squad (Pro cheerleaders suck). [Editor's Note: Someone's gay...]
Mike
Jordan Chanley (you're all just jealous I found her first).
Sam
Entire USC Cheer Squad (Pro cheerleaders suck). [Editor's Note: Someone's gay...]
Mike
Jordan Chanley (you're all just jealous I found her first).
Brian
Scarlet Jamie for the Eagles. Wow, they really protect the info on NFL cheerleaders don't they? That took me way too long to find.
Chris
Can someone say Ashton Torres? Holy crap! No wonder everyone likes the Cowboys' cheerleaders so much.
Most Surprising Team of the Year
Sam
Kansas City Chiefs, 4 in a row? Unheard of in Kansas unless Sasha Kaun is playing.
Sam
Kansas City Chiefs, 4 in a row? Unheard of in Kansas unless Sasha Kaun is playing.
Mike
Detroit Lions - They deserve to be 6-2, unless they decide to be the Lions for the rest of the season.
Brian
Buffalo Bills -- At 5-2, they already have a win over the Patriots. It has to be the Fitzpatrick-led Buffalo squad.
Chris
The San Francisco 49ers. Did I mention that they're 6-1? 6-1??? Alex Smith???
Most Disappointing Team of the Year
Sam
Minnesota Vikings, I can't belive I still wear my Favre sherzee every Sunday.
Mike
Philadelphia Eagles-The "Dream Team" is hoping their first half was just a dream.
Brian
Washington Redskins -- With a great coach in Mike Shanahan, a good defense, and some key playmakers, this team should be a lot better than 3-4. They were predicted to have a decent shot at winning the division and they won't even come close.
Chris
The much-aforementioned Indianapolis Colts. My God are they awful. #SuckforLuck is in full swing here, boys.
Favorite Fantasy Player (from respective team) of the Year
Sam
Jordy Nelson. It breaks my heart when I have to start Welker/Fitz/J-Maclin over him.
Mike
Sam
Jordy Nelson. It breaks my heart when I have to start Welker/Fitz/J-Maclin over him.
Mike
Drew Brees/LeSean McCoy-Both have just racked up points, and both have had little stumbles every once in a while.
Brian
Darren Sproles -- Can you say MOTOR? Midget Mayhem consistently getting it done in New Orleans.
Chris
Hmm... Who to choose? Well, I'll pull a Bill Simmons and morph my two headliners to form one Super-Panther. Say hello to Smam Newtsmith, starting QB/RB for the Carolina Panthers. Proud to have 'em both on my team.
Favorite New TV Show of the Year
Sam
The League, with this season's hilarious first 4 episodes, this show is officially my favorite comedy, ahead of Blue Mountain State.
Mike
I don't watch TV.
Brian
New TV show? I haven't really started anything "new" this year. But I love watching a good episode of "Audibles" on ESPN every now and then. Who doesn't enjoy a bunch of old, washed up, and stuck up men who always think they're right yelling at each other for 60 minutes nonstop?
Chris
Sam stole my thunder. But The League truly is amazing. Jon Lajoie, America's favorite Canadian Rapper (Canada has rappers?) headlines this amazing cast. Nothing is better than 22 minutes of uproarious freestyle comedy mixed in with sexual innuendo and best of all, Fantasy Football.
Favorite YouTube Video of the Year
Sam
Mike
OK these aren't from this year, but they're still hilarious: Google Street View Guys and Google Earth Guys.
Brian
If you love the good old Pokemon games from the early gameboy color days, and are familiar with Facebook, then you should find this video hilarious. Ok, maybe not hilarious, but this is maybe the cleverest thing I've ever come across.
Chris
This one is from a couple of years back, but I can't stop watching it.
No comments:
Post a Comment