This Relationship Is Over

David Stern wants more money, but at what cost?

  

Have you ever watched a movie or TV show and seen one of the female starlets have their friends encourage them to propose an ultimatum to their boyfriend? Or maybe you've actually been faced with an ultimatum. Basically, an ultimatum is a threat that a request be fulfilled in a specific time period. What's not mentioned in Webster's definition of ultimatum is that they never work.

Generally, an ultimatum is a desperate ploy used by hopeless girlfriends who are trying to get their boyfriends to finally ask them to get married. In most cases ultimatums fail, because the guy realizes that his girlfriend is insane and that their relationship probably would end up in a quick divorce and an endless battle over child custody.

More after the jump...

2011 NFL Mid-Season Awards

This guy just can't do it like Pey Pey!

If ESPN, NFL.com, Grantland.com, and the countless other sports websites on the net didn't already give you a heaping portion of jargon-filled NFL analysis this week, we're here to help. Here are our thoughts on who's been fantastic, mediocre, and downright pathetic over the past eight weeks.

A Chyance Is All I’m Askying For

A Message for Non-Hockey Fans From Alexander Ovechkin: "Amyerica, I love you! Gyive me a shot"

What the hell America? For years I've been trying to break through, to appeal to you, to be loved by you, and this is how you treat me? I even sat out a year, a WHOLE YEAR, to revamp myself, and I don't get jack shit. What's it gonna take, do I need to get on my knees and beg for just a little attention? I seriously want to know what I need to do for you to give me some legitimate respect in the American sporting scene. Alright, that may be a little bit of an over exaggeration, [Editor's Note: That's redundant...] but still, when’s the last time I got more than a 15-second spot on SportsCenter? I really do want you to like me, America, and I know it’ll take some convincing. So let me tell you a little more about myself, so that you can have a better idea of who I am and what you’re missing.

More after the Jump:

Congratulations to the Cards

Well, I guess it works. No matter how much my fellow bloggers said "La Russa sucks!" or "La Russa overmanages!" or "Prove you're not a donut", Tony La Russa has one more ring on his hand. Make it 3, and 2 in the last 6 years. I'm not going to pretend to be some avid Cards fan, but I have to admire this squad and their highly criticized figurehead. I will brag slightly and have you know that I have long been using the La Russa approach on MLB The Show. Hot Tub Ninja (Brian) can attest to that, often facing my pitcher in the 8th hole and then feeling the wrath of 2 consecutive leadoff hitters.  

Just An [Accurate] Opinion

The Broncos are out to dismantle the flawed BCS system, one smashing victory at a time.

     Here we have the greatest debate haunting the world of college football: Does the BCS system work or is a playoff necessary to determine the true champion? My answer: Yes. The BCS system works. Pretty much anything that names a champion would work, though. There are ideas out there that I know can revolutionize the college football postseason.

     The fact that this debate takes place across the country every day shows just how big of an issue it really is, and how much the current system needs to be changed. It is a problem that must be approached with urgency. To start off my argument, I’d like to throw one question out there for the world to think about. How many major sports exist in which a team can go undefeated and not be crowned champion at the conclusion of the postseason? The answer: None. 

Much more after the jump:

It's All About Perspective

As David Freese rounds third base, a faint cry emerges: "That one's for Tony!"

    I really had no clue what to write about for my first official post on this spanking new blog.  T.J. Lang's damaged testicles were definitely an option, as was the goose-bump inducing call by Joe Buck last night 20 years after his father said it best. Countless minor sports options came to mind, but then I remembered that we have a miscellaneous section on this smashing blog of ours! So I decided to write about the future, seeing as it dominates the majority of my thoughts right now. Well, the true reason why I had the idea to write about the future is that I received a letter from my (and Schlaggy's) favorite college...

Here Goes Nothin' (Seriously, enough with the damn clichés...)

When Sam asked me if I wanted to help start this blog I was obviously skeptical. What would start as a funny sports blog would inevitably result in posts about our favorite fish taco recipes, trips to the supermarket, restaurant reviews, and finally, in a shameless weight-loss diary. It's the downfall of every blog, and I wasn't about to spend my Tuesday nights writing about eating Squash and Blue Cheese Salad and watching The Biggest Loser.

Why is it that seemingly every blog ends up being some personal conversation with the Internet? Isolation is a concomitant of blogging. Addressing yourself to readers is hard when you're getting 6 page views a day and 5 of those are from your Mom. A blog eventually becomes a personal journal, except for the fact that anyone can read what you write, and the content is permanently etched in the annals of the inter-web.